That's Life: Ground Rules for Guests
It is only under certain circumstances that I do not find housework a boring and bothersome chore. And recently, I was cheerfully placing newly washed scarves on the bureau and chest of drawers in the guest room, as I began making ready for a visit from my daughter and her family. Mostly relatives of mine have occupied the guest room over the last 20 years. Also, a dear friend slept in that room when she stayed with me a few days after my dear Bill died. My children's friends also have been overnight guests.
My children know, however, that I do not want unmarried couples sharing the guest room. I am neither a religious zealot nor a prude, but I still am guided by the moral values my parents inculcated in me when I was growing up. And I feel responsible for what happens in my home.
One of the times my convictions were challenged was when my son Christopher asked a favor.
I was looking forward to Christopher, who lives on Long Island, staying with me a few days, as he was to attend a Williams College alumni reunion.
Christopher called me two days before he was to arrive and asked if it would be OK if he brought along two friends — an engaged couple. "I'll sleep on the open up couch in the living room," he said."Oh, Chris, you know how I feel about ..."
"Please Mom, they don't have money for a motel room and they want so much to go to the reunion."
Continuing, Christopher pointed out what good friends the couple were to him, and how the fellow was working part time in order to pay for his tuition at a university where he was pursing a doctorate degree.
"I'm sure they will respect your rules," Christopher finally said.
When the couple arrived at my home, looking weary, Christopher explained that that very morning they had moved furniture into an apartment they were to live in, supposedly, when they married in a few weeks.
That evening, as I sat in the living room alone while my son and the couple were attending an alumni dinner dance, I began having serious doubts at to whether I had made the right decision about the sleeping arrangements. I liked the couple, but ... .
I went into my bedroom, removed a crucifix from the wall and put it in the guest room. I also placed a Bible on the night table in the guest room and turned on the Virgin Mary nightlight."Well, that should make them think twice about breaking the commandments," I said to myself.
The couple returned to my home, earlier than my son. I asked if they would like anything from the kitchen, tea, etc. "No, Thanks," the young woman said. "We're so tired, we had to leave the dance."
Around 10 o'clock the next morning, the couple left my home after eating breakfast. As they drove away, Christopher said, "Mom, they are not Christians. All that stuff you put in the guest room has no meaning for them."
About a week later, I received a gracious thank you note from the young woman.
The next time I saw her, she was wearing a wedding ring and was round with child. I congratulated her and asked when the baby was due. "In a month — on our wedding anniversary," she said and added, with a giggle, "The baby was not conceived in your home."
"Oh dear," I said. "Christopher told you why the guest room looked like a mini-shrine while you were there.""It's all right," she said. "We understand. Our parents are from the 'old school,' too."
If the couple ever needs a place to stay in Williamstown, I will be glad to put them up. All I will need to add to the guest room is the port-a-crib I store in the basement.
