Cain Built Connections, Brought Optimism to Neighbors Group
Editor's Note: We asked Kathy Keeser to write an article about her longtime friend Natalie Cain's retirement after nearly 20 years helping the families and neighborhoods of North Berkshire from a personal perspective. We like the result and hope you do, too.
NORTH ADAMS, Mass.A LOT can be said. As a co-worker of Natalie's for more than 12 years and a close friend for going on 14, I am familiar with her work at Northern Berkshire Neighbors and its parent, the Northern Berkshire Community Coalition.
Natalie is a cheerleader for the spirit. By this I mean, she can usually see the best and the strengths of most people and most situations. By doing this, she helps others to also see and feel the positive. The glass isn't half empty or even just half full for Natalie; it is always almost full. Natalie is able to see the potential in everyone and probably every situation that would fill that glass up to full if just given the opportunity or skills.
Recently, Natalie and I sat in her back yard on her new "retirement" outdoor furniture. If you ever need a pick-me-up of the spirit, I recommend tea with Natalie. As we talked it was evident that the joy in her work and really the joy Natalie feels in working with people, is what connected her to the work at the coalition and what has kept her at it for 17 years.
"The joys were the relationships that I gained from working with people in the community that without the Northern Berkshire Neighbors Program, I most likely would not have come into contact with. Knowing that effort makes a difference in this one's life or that one's life, though you may not know the full effect you had in their lives. But, at least for some period of time, they had some joy. As I see them later in the community, sometimes their lives had ups and downs, but I can see them, hug them and be interested in their lives because I had this entrée into their lives."
Natalie talked of the beginning (in summer 1973) of her work in reaching out to people through the coalition that would later become Northern Berkshire Neighbors Program. She has fond memories for programs from the first several years, including the Master Teachers for Family Life, the Right Question Project, Learn to Organize Your Neighborhood, and the Dreamers' Brunch in January 1994 (which was the first Northern Berkshire community celebration of Martin Luther King).
"As I began to meet some of the neighbors in low-income housing, it was clear that often people were afraid to say anything about their neighborhood and about any problems. The residents were very skeptical about what you wanted. As I met people my eyes began to be opened," said Natalie.
"The important thing I found from these early programs was that we were able to bring people in and let them learn from each other. That is when I began to do the profiles on people, to write their stories. I discovered that this was a wonderful thing to do. Because all I did it was reflect back on the self that they were putting out there. What I know now that I may not have known then is that when you are able to genuinely be with a person, let them know the good and the potential that you see in them, then they can also begin to believe it and act upon it." In the past three years, Natalie was involved in the "Best Parents We Can Be," which is a 10-week parent education course that was a co-creation of NBN, Links Parent Center of the North Adams Public Schools, Child Care of the Berkshires, state Department of Children and Families, Women, Infants & Children and other Northern Berkshire agencies.
"The parents [in the program] for the most part, probably had nobody in their lives who reflected goodness back to them and often this goes back a couple of generations. I sometimes describe this work as a way of taking a screw that had been screwed so deeply through generations to try to go the other direction, to loosen it up, and bring people out of the holes where society has put them."
In talking about this intimate work of connecting with and really knowing people, Natalie said, "this work needs more attention rather than less attention. It is too bad our society thinks that you can throw grant money at something for a while, but it takes time. Then, who is there for these families afterwards? These kinds of connections and nurturing with people needs to be intentional. That was the beauty of NBN not being an agency and often having the ability to reach out to people and to continue to be present in their lives."
Natalie's work is more an extension of her life, one that's been shared as a Sister of St. Joseph for close to 50 years. Her commitment to the community and to people is part of her very being and after her retirement from the coalition at the end of June, her work continues. As Natalie says, "I am just ending one phase of my life, not retiring."Her work as a sister will continue and where she will land next for a "paid" job, will depend on where her heart and soul lead her. Natalie is going to take a little time to listen and get a feel for what this next phase of her life will bring. But you will find her still in North Adams, her home.
