Leap Year has never made sense to me. We have entered into the 21st century. We are a people of such impressive science and technology that we can talk to people across the globe, fly over the clouds and put aspirin into a container that no human being on earth can open without a hammer. And we measure things precisely — astronomers watch the rotation and revolution of various planets and moons, while an atomic clock ticks away the milliseconds to measure the exact amount of time everything takes. In spite of all this, once every four years, we have to throw in an entire extra day to keep things on track.
Doesn't this seem a bit slapdash to you? We're going to take great pains to keep track of every second, and then once every four years, "Pardon me, do you mind if we just toss in an extra 86,400 seconds here?" This is a hopelessly antiquated method of reckoning time. It was invented centuries ago in 1582, long before the digital watch. If you took a roomful of students at Drury or Lee high schools, gave them a four-year span to divide into four equal parts as homework, and they came back with a "leap year" concept, you'd flunk them. Especially that kid Greg Orian, who I suspect is behind the whole thing. I honestly think that we can do much better, but it requires a radical solution. I said it last leap year and I'll say it again: It's Metric Time!
What is Metric Time, you ask? Well, consider the metric system as a whole in comparison to our system. Length: We have 12 inches to the foot, 3 feet to the yard, 843 yards to the North Adams residential neighborhood. Metric system: meter, centimeter, kilometer. All tens. Fluid measurements: We have two pints to the quart, 6 pints to the Kennedy, and 8 pints to the gallon. Metric system: milliliter, liter. All tens. Weight: We have 16 ounces to the pound, 2,000 pounds to the ton and 16 tons to another year older and deeper in debt. Metric system: milligrams, grams, kilograms. All tens. See a pattern?
We are currently keeping track of time in a similarly confusing manner: 60 seconds to the minute, 60 minutes to the Andy Rooney, 24 hours to the 7-11, etc. Why not create a simpler ten-based system for reckoning time? We throw out this ridiculous "day" concept and replace it with a decimal system based on something I like to call a "chron," in honor of Chronos, the god of time. A chron would be equal to just a little more than eight of these "hour" things that people persist in using.
Once we're measuring in centichrons and kilochrons, this preposterous leap year concept will no longer be necessary. No more of the poor leap-year babies, doomed to not reach drinking age until 84! No more constant confusion over what date follows Feb. 28! No more staring at an analog clock in uncomprehension, wondering why when the minute hand is on 9, the time may not have any nines in it! Imagine instead a world where our time was measured with a decimal system, so we could keep track on our fingers. A world where school children didn't have to waste half of second grade trying to figure out clock problems. A world where the very idea of throwing a "leap year" into every fourth year as a corrective measure would be a laughable absurdity.
Now, I know that in spite of the obvious superiority of the metric system, most Americans haven't accepted it. We fought the Revolutionary War to escape from beneath the oppressive foot of an English king, and yet we still measure things by that king's oppressive foot. It's possible that we just may not be ready for metric time today.
But tomorrow, my friends, is another chron — er, make that three chrons.
Seth Brown is a freelance humor writer based in North Adams who tries to put his best meter forward. He is a frequent contributor to the Washington Post's Style Invitational and, like everyone else, is working on a book.
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North Adams Officials to Revote School Committee Members
Staff reports
NORTH ADAMS, Mass. — City and school officials will meet a second time to vote in two new members of the School Committee.
The joint convention of the City Council and School Committee will be held on Tuesday at 6 p.m. in the City Hall conference room and via Zoom.
Damon Grimes and Paul Moriarty were jointly elected on Monday to fill two seats vacated by resignation. They were two of four candidates standing for election.
Mayor Jennifer Macksey, chair of the School Committee, said she had received in inquiry about the votes, which were done by secret ballot.
"I have been advised that voting by ballot was not permissible in this circumstance," she said, after consulting the School Committee's attorney Adam Dupere and city solicitor KP Law.
To ensure the validity of the votes and conduct of the election, the joint convention will reconvene and formally confirm the selection of Grimes and Moriarty.
"I apologize for the inconvenience of having to reconvene," the mayor said in a statement. "My intention in using a ballot was to address concerns raised following our previous convention, when some members expressed discomfort with publicly voting for or against individual candidates.
Senior Patrick Holland Saturday finished in fourth place to lead the Mount Greylock boys cross country team to a Western Massachusetts Class B Championship at Stanley Park. click for more
In a news release posted on its website tuesday morning, the Northwestern DA said, "prosecutors determined that no criminal conduct occurred," citing Massachusetts General Law Chapter 269, section 17. click for more
Everett Bayliss scored a pair of goals and Lukas Burrow had two assists in Sunday's Mount Greylock win in the Western Massachusetts Class C Championship Game. click for more
Gabe Thomas carded an even par round of 71 at Stockbridge Golf Club Monday to finish two shots clear of the field and claim the first county individual championship for the McCann Tech golf team. click for more
The Cooperative Hoosac Valley football program will resume football related activities on Monday, Sept. 28, after being on “pause” for the past nine days. click for more
Hoosac Valley High School has postponed this weekend’s football games following a reported alleged hazing incident involving a large number of football players, the athletic director announced Friday afternoon. click for more
