Leap Year has never made sense to me. We have entered into the 21st century. We are a people of such impressive science and technology that we can talk to people across the globe, fly over the clouds and put aspirin into a container that no human being on earth can open without a hammer. And we measure things precisely — astronomers watch the rotation and revolution of various planets and moons, while an atomic clock ticks away the milliseconds to measure the exact amount of time everything takes. In spite of all this, once every four years, we have to throw in an entire extra day to keep things on track.
Doesn't this seem a bit slapdash to you? We're going to take great pains to keep track of every second, and then once every four years, "Pardon me, do you mind if we just toss in an extra 86,400 seconds here?" This is a hopelessly antiquated method of reckoning time. It was invented centuries ago in 1582, long before the digital watch. If you took a roomful of students at Drury or Lee high schools, gave them a four-year span to divide into four equal parts as homework, and they came back with a "leap year" concept, you'd flunk them. Especially that kid Greg Orian, who I suspect is behind the whole thing. I honestly think that we can do much better, but it requires a radical solution. I said it last leap year and I'll say it again: It's Metric Time!
What is Metric Time, you ask? Well, consider the metric system as a whole in comparison to our system. Length: We have 12 inches to the foot, 3 feet to the yard, 843 yards to the North Adams residential neighborhood. Metric system: meter, centimeter, kilometer. All tens. Fluid measurements: We have two pints to the quart, 6 pints to the Kennedy, and 8 pints to the gallon. Metric system: milliliter, liter. All tens. Weight: We have 16 ounces to the pound, 2,000 pounds to the ton and 16 tons to another year older and deeper in debt. Metric system: milligrams, grams, kilograms. All tens. See a pattern?
We are currently keeping track of time in a similarly confusing manner: 60 seconds to the minute, 60 minutes to the Andy Rooney, 24 hours to the 7-11, etc. Why not create a simpler ten-based system for reckoning time? We throw out this ridiculous "day" concept and replace it with a decimal system based on something I like to call a "chron," in honor of Chronos, the god of time. A chron would be equal to just a little more than eight of these "hour" things that people persist in using.
Once we're measuring in centichrons and kilochrons, this preposterous leap year concept will no longer be necessary. No more of the poor leap-year babies, doomed to not reach drinking age until 84! No more constant confusion over what date follows Feb. 28! No more staring at an analog clock in uncomprehension, wondering why when the minute hand is on 9, the time may not have any nines in it! Imagine instead a world where our time was measured with a decimal system, so we could keep track on our fingers. A world where school children didn't have to waste half of second grade trying to figure out clock problems. A world where the very idea of throwing a "leap year" into every fourth year as a corrective measure would be a laughable absurdity.
Now, I know that in spite of the obvious superiority of the metric system, most Americans haven't accepted it. We fought the Revolutionary War to escape from beneath the oppressive foot of an English king, and yet we still measure things by that king's oppressive foot. It's possible that we just may not be ready for metric time today.
But tomorrow, my friends, is another chron — er, make that three chrons.
Seth Brown is a freelance humor writer based in North Adams who tries to put his best meter forward. He is a frequent contributor to the Washington Post's Style Invitational and, like everyone else, is working on a book.
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Lanesborough Town Meeting to Vote Budget, Bylaws & Vehicle Purchases
By Breanna SteeleiBerkshires Staff
LANESBOROUGH, Mass. — Tuesday's annual town meeting includes a $14 million operating budget, new short-term rentals, accessory dwelling units and sign bylaws, and free cash article appropriations.
Voters will gather at Lanesborough Elementary School on June 9 at 6 p.m. to decide on 20 warrant articles.
The fiscal 2027 budget is up a little over 10 percent. Some of the main increases are the Mount Greylock Regional School District and McCann Technical School: the McCann assessment is up more than 30 percent based on factors including enrollment and the school renovation project, and Mount Greylock's is up 11 percent.
Article 11 is for the town to vote to approve from free cash the sum of $16,298.48 for the McCann Technical School roof and window replacement project so as not to impact the budget. Article 3 is appropriate $7,586,284 for Mount Greylock Regional School assessment.
Another notable increase was in life and health insurance, showing an increase of about 26 percent.
Ambulance Director Jen Weber is planning 24-hour coverage, which means more staff and a hike in her budget. One of the articles asks the town to appropriate $234,100 to operate the Ambulance Enterprise Fund for salaries and expenses.
Many town departments are looking for new vehicles. The Fire Department is looking to replace its outdated 1996 fire engine. There are two articles related to the truck at a total of $813,366. Article 12 would transfer $225,000 from free cash into the Fire Truck Stabilization Fund; Article 13 would transfer $605,000 from the fund and authorize the borrowing of $208,366.08.
The total includes a $100,000 contingency cost to cover any additional costs if a 2026 model-year chassis cannot be secured before new emissions standards go into effect in 2027.
The board at its last meeting moved the $225,000 transfer to come before the borrowing article, changing the stabilization number. If the $225,000 is not voted on, then they will amend the next article's number on the floor, subtracting the $225,000. This shows the borrowing number significantly lower.
Article 17 asks for the transfer of $80,000 from free cash to replace a police cruiser.
Police Chief Rob Derksen's aim is to replace one vehicle every other year, meaning the oldest vehicle gets replaced about every 10 years.
He stressed that if delayed this year, the town may have to double up in a future year to get back on schedule, and that paying later usually costs more. The article will ask for $80,000 from free cash, the vehicles used to be funded by the BHRD.
Lastly, the Highway Department is looking to replace a 2014 International dump truck that will be a total of $330,000 and will take two to three years to receive.
Money will be used from last year's approval of $250,000 from free cash for the replacement of a 2012 highway front-end loader that was underspent $49,261. Town meeting is being asked to approve a transfer of $53,274.85 from free cash and the use of $227,464 from funds from the Sale of Town Real Estate to fund the balance.
Other free cash proposals include $1,200 to purchase software to support tracking and ongoing maintenance schedules of town-owned vehicles; $42,000 for the replacement of the Highway Department's storage shed roof, $200,000 to reduce the tax levy.
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