Last week's ill tidings ranged from the next phase of political monkey-donkey mudslinging to the pain in Spain being mainly on the train, but amidst all of this, there was at least one piece of good news: Wireless Internet service has now been installed in Adams.
Gary Lyons, co-owner of Betterway.net, proudly proclaimed, "Adams is hot!"
Personally, I might not go that far, although I think that Adams looks fetching in red and has a nice personality. I do find the possibility of widespread wireless Web-surfing moderately exciting. Since we are living in the 21st century, I enjoy seeing news items that bode well for the possibility of a worldwide Matrix, only without the harvesting of humans for energy.
But all of this got me thinking, much as I enjoy the concept of very high-speed Internet access, wires are an important part of our world at current — and of current. Wires are, in my mind, part of the experience of plugging your computer into the Internet — not necessarily a fun part, but an important part. A nexus of information exists out in the world, and we physically plug our cord in to connect with it. For comparison's sake, imagine what it would be like if telephones suddenly had no need for wires.
What? Oh. Okay, so they did that already. First we went cordless, and then we went wireless. No more twirling of phone cords while chatting or waiting by the phone at home. Now people can conveniently talk on their phones while eating dinner at restaurants, watching movies in a theater or even while crashing …er, driving. And the Internet is next. I shudder to conceive of a world where drivers can not only talk on the phone while driving but browse the Web as well. Imagine all the accidents-- not to mention the typos!
A wireless world is just something that I'm not ready for. As I look at my computer today, I see the tangle of wires connecting it to the power strip, monitor, speakers, keyboard, mouse, blender and hairdryer. They form an indestructible spaghetti of raw power, letting me know that all sorts of information transfer are happening. And the lone Ethernet cord slides down the back to the modem. If we remove that Ethernet wire, what comes next? Will we no longer need wires to connect our monitor and speakers, as the information from the computer beams itself to the appropriate audio and visual apparatus? What if the information goes to the wrong place, and my monitor shows sound waves while my speakers begin describing a picture to me?
And what of the larger ramifications? Televised sporting events are already becoming less interesting as more and more viewers turn to reality TV to sate their hunger to watch people suffer. What will happen when a football game can no longer come down to the wire? Will the referees bring out the yard-measuring device with no chain and arbitrarily make a wireless decision? And how will you hear about the scores, or news in general, if you can't receive information over the AP News Wire? Will all standardized news be replaced by the Drudges of haphazard Internet reporting?
If it already takes people a few cups of coffee in the morning to really get wired, how many more will it take before they can get wireless? And will that much coffee be healthy, or will they be shaking like a livewire the rest of the day? Few of us have the wiry frame that we had in our youth, but the concept of having a wireless frame is almost terrifying.
One imagines wireless hands like "Thing" from The Addams Family (soon perhaps to be Adams families!), running amok in the town square, contained only by barbed-wireless fences. No, I am not quite ready for the wireless world.
The one exception, however, would have to be the ...er, female upper torso frontal extremity support apparatus. In the case of this particular device, there is something to be said for the elimination of wires. Even if they aren't barbed, it just seems like a place where wires would be entirely unwelcome. After all, it is said that beauty is in the eye of the holder. Or is that the beholder? Either way, when more progress is made with that particular wireless technology, then Gary Lyons will be more justified in his claim that "Adams is hot!"
Seth Brown is a cord-ial freelance humor writer based in North Adams who enjoys yelling "wire!" in crowded theaters. He is a frequent contributor to the Washington Post's Style Invitational, and, like everyone else, is working on a book.
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LANESBOROUGH, Mass. — Town meeting on Tuesday approved an almost $14 million fiscal 2027 budget, and approved bylaws for short-term rentals and signage, and for public safety vehicles.
Of the 20 warrant articles, one, Article 7, to use free cash to pay prior fiscal year bills of $941.27 was indefinitely postponed by Moderator David Rolle because the bills were for the fire association.
Some 247 of the town's more than 2,600 registered voters filled Lanesborough Elementary School, debating articles during a meeting that lasted more than three hours.
The town's 2027 spending plan is up more than 10 percent, with the main increases from higher enrollment in the regional schools and the McCann Technical School renovation project.
Voters approved the assessment of $7,586,284 for Mount Greylock Regional School. They also approved Article 11, which was the use of $16,298.48 in free cash for the McCann's roof and window replacement project so as not to impact the budget.
Ambulance Director Jen Weber is planning 24-hour coverage, which means more staff and a hike in her budget. Article 5 asked the town to appropriate $234,100 to operate the Ambulance Enterprise Fund for salaries and expenses, which passed.
Fire Chief Jeff DeChaine spoke to the audience on his articles and the need for a new truck to replace the 1996 fire truck, listed on the warrant articles for a total $813,366, which includes a $100,000 contingency cost on whether a 2026 model-year chassis can be secured before new emissions standards in 2027. If they get the 2026 chassis, that contingency likely won't be needed.
Cassidy Flynn scattered five hits in a complete-game effort in the circle as Lenox upset top-seeded Hoosac Valley, 3-2, in the quarter-finals of the Division 5 State Tournament. click for more
Brayden Durant struck out seven and walked one in a complete-game effort on the mound Saturday to pitch the Drury baseball team to a 6-0 win over Keefe Tech in the quarter-finals of the Division 5 State Tournament at Joe Wolfe Field. click for more
Jason Codey struck out 13, walked two and allowed just an infield single as the Generals earned a 7-1 win over Wahconah to claim their third straight regional title. click for more
Gracelyn Wright struck out eight, and Genevieve Lagess went 3-for-5 with four runs batted in as the Hurricanes beat Monson, 17-3, to claim their first Western Mass title in four years. click for more
For the boys, Ward Bianchi helped lead the way with a win in the shot put and a second place in the javelin as the Mounties finished 16 points ahead of runner-up Pittsfield (pending the results of the pole vault, which were unavailable at 11 p.m. Friday night). click for more
