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Confessions of a Practical Blonde: A Question of FaithBy Sharon Leary - January 17, 2008
 | | Sharon M. Leary |
This past week, the Northern Berkshire community lost one of its religious leaders - Father Daniel O'Hear.
It’s hard to think of St. Anthony's Parish in North Adams without Father O'Hear. Being a transplant from Springfield, I floated around to several different Catholic churches before I settled on becoming a parishioner of St. Francis in North Adams.
During my "scouting" expedition, I had the pleasure of attending several Masses that were celebrated by Father O'Hear at St. Anthony's. He always started off his homily with a joke. I don't ever remember feeling dread when I saw him approach the pulpit. Hey, it happens. Sometimes a homily just doesn't come together.
I did have the pleasure of having Father O'Hear bless the Remdawg one Fall Foliage weekend during the blessing of the animals. Of course, Remy tried to jump on him. Then again, Remy tries to jump on everyone.
After his retirement, Father O'Hear volunteered at North Adams Regional Hospital several times a week. He was a comfort to many patients, family members and employees. I will miss seeing him in the volunteer office.
The death of Father O'Hear has compelled me to share with you my journey and relationship with religion.
A Teacher Inspires
I was raised in an Irish Catholic family and going to Mass every Sunday was not a choice, it was required. I think it is No. 2 in the Irish Catholic handbook.
As a child and teenager, I attended catechism classes weekly. CCD, as we called it, was fun until you hit sixth grade. Most of our teachers were very devout Catholics. Unfortunately, a lot of those teachers though good hearted and wanting to make a difference, just didn't connect with their audience.
One teacher who did manage to connect with me, along with many others, was Jim Trelease. Mr. Trelease was an award-winning artist and columnist for the Springfield Daily News (now The Republican). He was very well known in our church community and he was my eighth-grade CCD teacher.
His art inspired me and it has stayed with me. During one lesson on peace, he told the class about how he was struggling to come up with a visual piece for an article that was to appear in the Daily News. The article was on race relations. I e-mailed Mr. Trelease to confirm my memory and I was delighted to hear back from him and he did confirm the story.
During his struggle to come up with an idea for the article, he attended Mass at Holy Cross Church in Springfield. He spotted a little old lady with her hands so perfectly placed together in prayer that it inspired him to draw a picture of those hands; one in black, the other white. It was a very powerful picture, probably why it sticks with me to this day.
A Little More About Trelease
In 1979, Mr. Trelease self-published "The Read-Aloud Handbook." It was overlooked for several years until Penguin USA published an expanded edition in 1983. It then spent 17 weeks on The New York Times best seller list. Mr. Trelease left the Springfield Daily News in 1984 to focus his career on education and to lecture and write full time.
When I opened my e-mail today, I was overjoyed to see a response from him. I got the chance to thank him for his service and inspiration. I discovered that not only had he made it to The New York Times best seller list but he also appeared on "Larry King Live." Everyone should have a teacher in his or her life like Mr. Trelease.
How to Become a Lapsed Catholic in 5 Years or Less
During my high school years I was going through the motions of being a Catholic. I really didn't understand what it meant to have faith in God. Some of the stories I heard about Jesus and his Apostles, as well as the prophets, seemed incomprehensible to me. I had my doubts about Jesus walking on water and I was amazed when he was able to feed thousands with a few fish and loaves of bread.
I realize now it really was a question of faith.
But how did I get to the point where I just didn't care anymore? When I think about it, after I made my confirmation, it all kind of started to unravel. I was working part time, finishing high school and moving onto college.
Yes, my parents had rules and we still attended church, but I was becoming my own person. I was learning to say no. I began to manage the day-to-day operation of my life, mostly. Of course mom was still there cooking and cleaning and making sure I got up on time. But I was also able to decide whether or not I wanted to continue to go to church.
I think I rebelled against being a Catholic because I didn't want to follow any rules. If I followed the rules, there was no possible way to have any fun. I wanted to do what I wanted to do without any repercussions. If I went to church, some of the sage advice and lessons might sink in. So, I stopped going to church regularly.
Ask and you shall receive, maybe
However, I didn't stop asking God for things. I was willing to go to Him only when I needed his help. Sometimes I got His help, other times I did not. And when my crisis or furtive wish passed, I would go back to living my life by my rules.
I convinced myself that I wasn't a bad person for not going to Mass - and let me just say that is true. You can worship God anywhere and everywhere. But being Catholic, or having a religious affiliation of any kind, has certain expectations and attending a service is a part of it.
But I went further. I decided that as long as I adhered to most of the Ten Commandments I was still going to Heaven. I knew what I was doing was against the rules, yet I didn't care. Sometimes it was pure rebellion, other times it was because I forgot whom I was. I convinced myself further that there was no way God would not forgive me for what I had done. Forgiving myself however, was out of the question.
Have you ever heard of the Catholic Guilt Syndrome? Forgiving myself has always been hard for me. This has been my Catholic guilt. My thought process was such that I understood that God forgave me for my sins, but I still felt like I had to feel guilty about what I did. I recently discovered the passage John 1:9 in the Bible. It is about forgiveness and cleansing. Whenever I start to feel guilty, I repeat that passage to myself. It helps.
Regaining My Faith
When I entered my 30s, things that seemed important to me in my 20s fell to the side. The whole time I was ignoring being Catholic and religion in general, I was trying to figure out who I was and why I was here. Science and math matter to me. The theory of evolution is hard to discard.
But life has a way of shaking things up for you. I lost several family members and the most important person in my life in my early 30s. It was then I started attending Mass sporadically. I wasn't fully convinced that this was going to help, but to my amazement I felt comforted when I went to church.
Especially at St. Francis. I don't know why, I just know that my heart is lighter after I attend a service at St. Francis. The church is beautiful. It is extremely large, plenty of pews to hide in. However the church needs some renovation. In the winter, except for Christmas and Easter, Mass does not get celebrated at St. Francis. But during the summer it is a cool retreat from the heat and a great place to ponder God and the mysteries of the universe.
To be perfectly honest, I have some bones of contention with certain aspects of being a Catholic. And really I credit a popular TV minister with truly opening my heart to faith. Laugh if you want, but Joel Osteen has made me see that in life there are things that just shouldn't be held onto and that God is a forgiving God and wants us to succeed. Osteen's message is one of hope and I look forward to hearing him speak each week. I always feel renewed and ready to take on the world after I see his broadcast.
I also credit a friend with whom I have great discussions about faith and God. She also reintroduced me to the Bible. Whenever I feel lost or don't understand why something happens, I know I can talk to her. We discuss certain passages in the Bible and apply them to our lives. We are in the process of completing a Bible study, my first.
True Confessions
I'm not sure I know what a typical column for me should be. I don't have a specific topic I need to write about every other week, like finance or cooking. The topics just come to me. So this may not have been a typical "Confession of a Practical Blonde" column, but it is a topic I've wanted to write about and share with others.
It's important that you know that even though I left my Catholic upbringing, I never truly stopped thinking about God. I could say I wish my parents had been stricter with attending church and more open about discussing religion in general, but I won't. Why? Because if that was the case, I think I might still be going through the motions or rebelling.
I rediscovered my relationship with God because of my life experiences and I made that decision on my own. I don't question my faith anymore: I know its real.
Each of us has our personal beliefs. That's one of the greatest things about living in the United States. We can believe what we want and not be persecuted for it. We should try to respect those beliefs. Special note to self: that includes Yankee fans. |
| I knew Fr. O'Hear many years ago in Holyoke at St. Jeromes parish. They say God is in all of us, well a peice of Jesus left when Fr. O'Hear passed. | | from: Dan | on: 02-20-2008 |
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| Hey now, I think you know some pretty cool people who are Yankees fans :) | | from: Kristin | on: 01-28-2008 |
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Hey, I don't know about the Yankee fans...isn't that an exception???
~XO XO | | from: alicianna | on: 01-24-2008 |
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