'Mortdecai': Of Moustaches and Men

By Michael S. GoldbergeriBerkshires Film Critic
Print Story | Email Story

Popcorn Column
by Michael S. Goldberger  

Lionsgate 
Johnny Depp ponders the vagaries of moustaches and acting careers in the forgettable 'Mortdecai.'

There's nothing good on TV and you've finished pondering all your forgotten lore. So you're playing with your phone, switching from the weather to Yelp and regularly checking to see if you've received any new mail in the last minute. But something's missing ... that drone of an inconsequential movie as background score to your boredom. In such case might I recommend, when available through Netflix or any of the other secondary movie purveyors, director David Koepp's "Mortdecai," a neither here nor there free-for-all you won't feel bad about neglecting.

However, possessing the cutting-edge ingenuity of a reversible jacket, the oddball throwback to the British Carry On movies with wisps of "Pink Panther" sensibilities might nonetheless earn a smidgen of your indifferent attention. That is, providing you allow Johnny Depp as its title character his estimable indulgences. Based on the cult-followed Mortdecai novels by Kyril Bonfiglioli, Depp is a roguish lord who doubles as the bad boy of the international art scene, aided and abetted here in "Thin Man" style by Gwyneth Paltrow's Lady Johanna.

out of 4

Good thing, however, that you're not completely committing to this loony scavenger hunt posing as a plot. Unraveling the unnecessarily complicated, ultimately simple tale about smuggled, stolen, forged and/or priceless art treasures really isn't worth the mental drudgery. So simply let it unfold and, if of a mind, or even just half a mind, watch Depp explore the length and breadth of his comic swagger, showcased in overabundant, shamelessly narcissistic supply.

The unabashed showboating reminded me of a fellow who was doubtless the biggest bull-thrower in my dorm, incidentally no small accomplishment. We let him rant on and on as he nightly held court on the fire escape ... his tall-tales inevitably concluding with him seducing the dean of this or that's daughter. From Brooklyn, chain-smoking and interjecting, "Y'know what I min?" every other paragraph as he enthusiastically peddled his flights of fancy, he served as a good study break. Likewise, we are curious to see just how far Johnny Depp can self-absorb.

Plus, like the raconteur on the fire escape, he sure seems to be having a good time coloring outside the lines, cordially inviting us in on the private joke. Traipsing on millions of dollars of celluloid like a child let loose with paint and a white living room wall, the charismatic star joyously etches his clichéd bon vivant. A decidedly inconsistent combination of stodgy old gentry and waggish cad, the characterization implores Depp's co-stars to also have a bit of fun in their resultantly exaggerated portrayals.

Paltrow acquits herself in fairly good form considering the inherent handicap screenwriter Eric Aronson's unremarkable adaptation provides. But Paul Bettany seizes the day and turns the proverbial lemons into lemonade as Jock, Charlie Mortdecai's manservant/bodyguard/chief strategist and confidante. Flaunting a Cockney accent and complete self-assuredness in the face of his employer's purported cowardice, his second banana efficacy is solidly delightful.



Punctuating the meandering mystery of a Van Gogh the Nazis were said to have confiscated, three running gag/subplots attempt to serve as consolation for the overall muddle. The first silliness surround's Charlie's moustache, a follicle crop that has become a cause célèbre around the Mortdecai manse. Says its proud owner, summoning all his fallen aristocrat conceit, "All Mortdecai men sported moustaches." But said vaunted tradition matters little to Mrs. Mortdecai, whose gag reflex in the face of hubby's outgrowth has her boycotting his lips.

Poor, forever amorous Charlie. Oh, the dilemma: To shave or not to shave? That is the absurdity. More ludicrous, however, if you're paying any attention at all, is our inclination to wonder who will give in first. Meanwhile, in running gag No. 2, hoping to take advantage of this skirmish in the war between the sexes is Ewan McGregor's Special Agent Martland. Ordered to enlist Mortdecai's help in tracking the objet d'art, it presented a double-edged sword: While utterly disdaining the decadent connoisseur, he's been in love with Johanna since college.

Rounding out the subordinate drollery, shamefully more diverting than the primary gambit, is good old Jock's unfathomable, Casanovanic pre-eminence. Though Charlie Mortdecai is repeatedly impressed by the family retainer's often outrageous conquests, it can't help but also rub salt into the wound of his spouse-imposed furlough from all romantic activities.

To this scenario slap on a perfunctory satire of the aforementioned detective romps, replete with Depp's tangential homage to Peter Sellers; much ado about patricians who have outlasted their wealth; a fairly humorous sendup of Los Angeles when Charlie follows the Van Gogh there; and the usual, adolescent view of anything that might be construed as bawdy. But no harm done, old chap. Remember, you're not paying full Bijou price and, for that matter, not really paying "Mortdecai" much attention at all.

"Mortdecai," rated R, is a Lionsgate release directed by David Koepp and stars Johnny Depp, Gwyneth Paltrow and Paul Bettany. Running time: 106 minutes

If you would like to contribute information on this article, contact us at info@iberkshires.com.

GB Public Theater hosts Conversation with Berkshire Theater Artists

GREAT BARRINGTON, Mass. — Great Barrington Public Theater (GBPT) holds the third in a series of live talks with theater professionals, Monday, March 18, 6:30pm at St, James Place.
 
GB Public Associate Artistic Director Judy Braha sits down with a group of stage artists who reside locally and, often working together, create nationally acclaimed theater right in the Berkshires. 
 
The multi-accomplished group includes Director James Warwick, Playwrights Mark St. Germain and Jessica Provenz; Actor Peggy Pharr Wilson; Costume Designer Brittney Belz; and Lighting Designer Matthew Adelson. 
 
They all work on GBPT productions and with the many other theater companies that call the Berkshires home. The moderated onstage discussion will explore how their combined talents, creative skills, shared aesthetics and industry know-how are brought together to bring passion, tension, themes of comedy and drama to life onstage, and what makes living and working professionally in the Berkshires possible. Their conversation will be followed by an audience Q&A.
 
This is a free live event, with a $10 suggested donation, but space is limited. Reservations can be made now by emailing Tristan.GreatBarringtonPublic@gmail.com
 
View Full Story

More South Berkshire Stories