Condom dispensers in train stations? Condoms as collectibles, impromptu fish bowls, ingredients in seduction — silly, funny, sexy and above all, normal? Imagine this on an American TV screen? European policies and European media, especially TV commercials, have gone a long way to promote condoms. This could be why France, Germany and the Netherlands have dramatically lower teen birth rates and teen abortion rates than the United States — in some countries, on the order of nine times lower.
The teen birth rate is 49 out of every 1000 girls in the United States and nine out of every 1000 in France. The abortion rate in the U.S. is 27 out of every 1000 girls, and in France, nine out of every 1000. European teenagers also waited a year or three longer to begin having sex.
Susan Lovelace and Tricia Quinn from Boston’s Massachusetts Alliance on Teen Pregnancy discussed these numbers at the Berkshire Coalition to Prevent Teen Pregnancy’s quarterly meeting, Dec. 12. Lovelace and Quinn examined American and European attitudes toward sex, and how those attitudes have shaped government policies.
The Alliance on Teen Pregnancy is a statewide advocacy group, and the Berkshire coalition is a member. Representatives came to the workshop from groups including the South Central Berkshire school districts, Northern Berkshire Community Coalition, UCP, Youth Center Inc., Girl’s Inc., Fairview Hospital, the Pittsfield Development Corporation, Big Brothers Big Sisters, Pregnancy Support, PFLAG and Redfield House.
America’s Advocates for Youth led a European Study Tour to look at European attitudes toward sexuality, sex, and adolescent health. Lovelace and Quinn showed the workshop participants a film the advocates made of that trip, Let’s Talk about Sex: U.S. vs. European Approaches to Adolescent Sexuality. They talked to teens, teachers, parents and political officials in France, Germany and the Netherlands. Popular attitudes toward sexuality have shaped, and are shaped by, policy and media radically different from the United States. A French government official supported a health policy, not a moral policy. A French high school class did role playing simulations to teach the dangers of HIV and AIDS.
By contrast, 25 to 30 percent of American schools teach abstinence only, Lovelace and Quinn said. Abstinence only education has to fit eight basic tenets and to teach that sex outside of marriage is psychologically harmful. Lovelace and Quinn said from their point of view, abstinence is part of sexual education. There is a difference, in their view, between being sexually aware and sexually active, and having sex. Different people may define “being sexually active†differently. In their view, part of abstinence is deciding what abstinence means — no physical contact at all? No unclothed contact? Kissing, hugging and holding hands? Traditional religious definitions of abstinence can allow almost anything short of penetration.
Abstinence only education, as policy defines it, does not allow that kind of decision making. America used to spend about $11 million a year on abstinence, they said. During welfare reform, that number increased by some $200 million, and within the next decade it may increase by at least $50 million more.
They consider that there are other important elements to American teenagers’ sexual education and mores than abstinence education in schools: do people view teenagers as assets to the community? Do parents talk with their kids? Do teens get realistic and consistent messages from the media? Do teens learn how to communicate with their romantic partners? Do teens have friends that support healthy choices? Do teens have access to birth control?
Any of these things could influence teenagers’ sexual practices. Lovelace and Quinn said they did not have any definitive answers. They would like all of those questions to be answered affirmatively, but there are many strong opinions on this subject. They chiefly hoped that discussion on it would continue, and all comers would speak their minds.
The participants in the workshop, all professionals who work with teenagers regularly, were struck by condoms appearing so common, so normal, in the European commercials on the film. “We’re stuck in ‘don’t do it’ Puritan mode,†several people said. They commented on commercials with young kids. These kids treated the condoms like balloons or trading cards, and made them familiar objects.
Most of the ads reinforced a simple message: no matter what, have a condom. But both the ads and the teenagers who spoke on the film discussed not only safe sex or no sex, but sex within a relationship.
Erica Schmitz at NBCC said she was interested in “double Dutching,†what Dutch teens called using a condom and the pill, because it put responsibility on both partners. The ads promoted sexual behavior as normal. She did not see that happening here.
The film interviewed American teenagers too. They said, “If you carry a condom, a girl will think you’re coming onto her. A girl carrying a condom will be seen as a slut.â€
The European teenagers said, “You have sex with a condom, or you wait until you’re married. It’s not hard to understand.â€
The difference, participants said afterward, is not just that a European teenager can get a condom in a public train station or at a pharmacy with confidence, because everyone around him expects it and considers it responsible behavior. The European teenagers are familiar with contraceptives and with the consequences of sex, and they expect their partners to be. These teens share a basic understanding in their first and most awkward encounters.
There are American ads for condoms, participants said. One described a meadow with a voice-over — the kind of setting that usually advertises detergent, fabric softener, shampoo, or plastic diapers. The ads target older couples who are already seriously involved. The American teenager who is trying to be responsible does not carry a condom. Condoms are suggestive without being sexy: lewd, unfamiliar, presumptuous.
And the messages American teens get about sex are vague at best and contradictory at worst. Lovelace and Quinn asked the participants how they learned about sex: what messages teens receive today from their friends, siblings, parents, schools, religions, books, media and any other sources people could think of.
From parents, participants remembered hearing: “Don’t do it. Only do it with someone you love. Wait until you’re married. Or until you’re older. Only good girls wait. Don’t get pregnant.â€
From schools: many got no messages at all. Some learned the workings of the biological process. Some heard a little about STD’s or saw a cartoon film strip in a co-ed school assembly. One participant had attended Simon’s Rock College of Bard, where students enter at age 16. Condoms were readily available there, and the students were given demonstrations on how to use them — with bananas.
From friends: people remembered curiosity and limited information. Sexual activity went in a progression: if one friend kissed a boy, she told the rest what it was like. What it was like was usually “ew, gross!†The group reviewed each step in the process as someone went through it. “Easy girls,†girls who had sex, were thought of negatively. Boys who had sex were not.
From the media: participants from the Leave it to Beaver generation saw the Cleaver parents sleeping in separate beds. Participants who grew up with MTV, on the other hand, remembered George Michael’s “I Want Your Sex†video. In soap operas, most relationships were sexual. A representative from PFLAG said gay teenagers got no message at all, except for negative messages in the media. One participant remembered an episode of My So-Called Life in which Angela, a main character and a popular one, refused to have sex with her older boyfriend, and they broke up.
From religion, people heard: “You’ll go to hell if you have sex. It’s a sin. It’s a treasure, and must be honored.â€
Quinn and Lovelace then asked the room’s opinions of several general statements. Most participants agreed that “teens have a right to know how to keep themselves healthy†and that “sexuality is a normal, healthy part of teenage development.†Various participants pointed out that the whole point of puberty is to prepare an adolescent to become a sexual being. Teens have hormones, desires and urges. These are biological facts.
Kids need to be able to make an informed decision, said a woman from the Berkshire AIDS Coalition. “Treat teens like adults. If you treat them like children, they will respond to you like children.â€
Teens need to know about the emotional aspect of having sex, others said, and the pain of changing partners. “How will you feel seeing a former partner walking down the hall with someone else?â€
Adults have to accept that teenagers have emotional and sexual lives. You have to admit to having a sexual life before you can decide what to do and not to do, how you define sexuality and what you feel the limits are, they said.
Most disagreed that “teaching teens about sex makes them more likely to have sex.†One argued that it depended on what people taught: a teenager could be taught that he had to have sex in order to be accepted.
The room split over “most teens who have sex are in monogamous relationships†— most had seen teens in sexual relationships of different lengths. Some lasted two years and some less than two weeks. Several people asked Lovelace and Quinn how they defined monogamous. “How do you define it?†Quinn returned.
“Exposure to explicit media makes it more likely teens will have sex†drew more support than dissent. A lot gets blamed on the media, some said, and other influences on a teen’s life could make a great difference. Studies have shown that a child that is exposed to a certain amount of explicit media may develop sexual interests earlier. The biological onset of puberty is earlier now than it was 15 years ago.
Should teens have confidential access to contraceptives? From the parent’s viewpoint, some asked, “would I want my child having any medical treatment without my knowing?†But others said, “We find that younger kids who are sexually active were often abused as children, and they cannot go to their parents for help.â€
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North Adams Double Murder Case Continued to March
By Stephen DravisiBerkshires Staff
NORTH ADAMS, Mass. — The case of a city man charged with killing his parents was continued to March on Monday.
Darius Hazard, 44, was scheduled for a detention hearing on Monday in Northern Berkshire District Court.
Prior to the start of the court's business, the clerk announced that Hazard's case was continued to Monday, March 2.
Hazard is charged with two counts of first-degree murder and one count of arson in connection with the Nov. 24 fire that claimed the lives of Donald Hazard, 83, and Venture Hazard, 76.
Police say Hazard confessed to the killings and starting the fire and fled the Francis Street home where he lived with his parents.
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