'Ted 2': Raunchier Than the Average Bear
 Popcorn Column
by Michael S. Goldberger
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Universal Pictures
The irreverent Ted is back in all his foul-mouthed glory. |
It is the juvenile innocence behind the unabashed raunchiness manifested by Mark Wahlberg's John Bennett and his title teddy bear come-to-life that makes this franchise so ridiculously inviting. Who among us didn't have a childhood filled with uncountable fantasies ... make-believe beings and anthropomorphic imaginings that made the world we were entering just a bit more perfect? Director Seth MacFarlane's "Ted 2" says let the no-nonsense spoilsports believe what they will. They're wrong. Ted lives.
Oddly enough, the wonderfully comic irony at the root of Ted's appeal is that while he has transitioned to so-called maturity, he and his best buddy John enjoy the commonality of their arrested development. This includes spewing many of the naughty words adults like to use, only more so. You see, they've made an art of their perennial adolescence, cherishing their time on the couch, beer and joint in hand (and paw), swapping pop culture references and ludicrous reveries.
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Of course those sessions have been curtailed just a tad since Ted married Tami-Lynn and has thought wise to devote a modicum of effort to the notion of wedded bliss. We are thus treated early on to a typical evening at home with the honeymooners, a pot and pan-throwing donnybrook peppered with every four-lettered favorite known to man and stuffed beast. There's trouble in paradise. What a shame ... all that effort in "Ted" to pave the way for this special marriage, and now it's reduced to the humdrum and ho-hum.
Happily, though, it's the delightfully flimsy rationale for a "Ted 2." A fellow cashier at the supermarket where Ted works informs, if you want to save your marriage, you've got to get yourself a baby. Never mind the idiocy of this advice ... it's all the plot we need. Going forward with the plan, which awakens and delights the motherly instinct in Tami-Lynn, we soon find out for reasons that shouldn't be discussed in polite company that the pair can't take the traditional route to parenthood. You know, Ted's a teddy bear, so …
They decide to adopt. Problem is, one must be human to adopt a child in these United States. It doesn't matter that all too many of the people who biologically qualify don't have half of Ted's intelligence, which in itself is no great feat. Adding insult to injury, Ted's efforts to offer hearth and home to some poor, unsuspecting foundling brings out the bigots who, for all the reasons that cause prejudice among our species, want to block the teddy bear's efforts and, shades of Dred Scott, have him classified as property.
So it only follows that amidst these lunatic and irreverent ponderings "Ted 2" has the unmitigated chutzpah to offer up its own curious contemplation on civil rights. To this end, hired by the loveable slackers to establish our bear's emancipation, enters stage right, Amanda Seyfried's Samantha L. Jackson who, much to their chagrin, is totally unaware of the African-American actor with whom she practically shares a name. They seem far less concerned that this will be their pro bono counselor's first case.
As a saving grace, however, the pretty mouthpiece, who soon wins John's eye, hits the bong with impressive, Cheech & Chong zeal. Figure the troika as an offbeat, slightly surreal update of the Hope-Crosby ventures, with Seyfried as the Yvonne De Carlo-like straight woman who, despite a total incognizance of their scattershot allusions, is muy simpatico. Goal established, they're off in yellow brick road fashion to prove Ted's personhood. The nuttiness shifts into overdrive.
After much ado, they arrive at the New York office of legendary freedom train attorney, Patrick Meighan, to ask if he'll represent the disenfranchised teddy bear. Long about this time, for at least a few seconds, one is apt to question his or her indulgence in this farfetched scenario. But Ted's winning ways set the suspension of disbelief dial to high. I bought in, hook, line and button eyes, the cause célèbre legitimized by the sanctifying tones of lawyer Meighan's implorations as only Morgan Freeman could deliver them.
Pretensions noted and quickly dismissed, the allegorical relevance of Ted's plight as a subjugated minority manages a heartfelt tone. Its juxtaposition with the crazy goings-on creates a laugh-filled synergy, promising a new effrontery around each corner. And while it may appear patronizing, we already enlightened sorts might like to imagine that the humanistic message proves a revelation to those otherwise indifferent guffaw seekers who could sure use a splash of tolerance. Wisdom is where you find it.
None of this is to say that MacFarlane's audacious delve into the estimable, far-reaches of his creativity is in line for an Oscar, let alone a Nobel Peace Prize. Still, the incongruous blend of elements lends a satirical sincerity, and makes the uproarious "Ted 2's" offensively amusing lessons in forbearance something to bear in mind.
"Ted 2," rated R, is a Universal Pictures release directed by Seth MacFarlane and stars Mark Wahlberg, the voice of Seth MacFarlane and Amanda Seyfried. Running time: 115 minutes
