'The Pyramid': Pointless Horror

By Michael S. GoldbergeriBerkshires Film Critic
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Popcorn Column
by Michael S. Goldberger  

Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp. 
How do we get out of this movie again?

I have seen my share of horror movies, some gruesome, some absolutely terrifying, others jump- out-of-your-seat shocking and many just plain dumb. But when it comes to simply making its principal characters torturously and unceasingly miserable, director Grégory Levasseur's "The Pyramid" takes Miss Havisham's cake. This is typical B-movie horror, structurally unchanged since the subgenre took form in the 1950s. All that's missing is the forgivable innocence of nascency and the hokey effects that, in retrospect, made such films laughably campy.

There is a serious, unflinching and resultantly untoward determination in this clichéd saga about a group of archaeologists investigating a mysteriously odd, three-sided pyramid buried deep in the Egyptian sands. There is no humor interspersed throughout the cumulatively inundating doom and gloom to put us off guard. It's just agonizing. We have a good idea where it's going, and wonder if it isn't our duty as viewers to invoke the spirit of Dr. Kevorkian so that the movie's pathetic personae may be put out of their misery.

out of 4

Adding insult to injury, Levasseur, working from a script by Daniel Meersand and Nick Simon, plays dirty pool. You know how at the outset of such fare you predict how many and which of the revulsion's victims will survive? Well, here the director alters the climax in such a manner so as to render moot said time-honored tradition. I won't give it away, just in case you have a compulsion to look under this rock for yourself. But suffice it to note, it's part and parcel of the movie's mean-spiritedness.

Oddly though, what upsets our sense of order if we happen to unexplainably find ourselves in a theater showing "The Pyramid," is the rather decent acting. The cast, most of whom have primarily plied their craft in television, are able to ever so slightly rise above the unimaginative screenplay and direction, causing us to feel a bit sad for them, and not just for their characters. For example, Ashley Hinshaw as Nora, the offspring part of the illustrious father-daughter archeological team, screams almost throughout the film without it ever seeming fake, poor thing.

Well, you have to start somewhere, and hopefully the younger actors here will one day laugh at these humble beginnings, knowing they did the best they could with the hackneyed roles they were given. Specializing in outbursts about getting the heck out of here, James Buckley is Fitzie, the cameraman accompanying pretty documentarian Sunni, portrayed by Christa Nicola. She evidently finds that wearing rather low-cut blouses improves her credibility. Playing the resident oldster, Denis O'Hare is Nora's dad, Holden. He's worried about his legacy, also poor thing.

It's no sense telling you about the other characters if you follow my drift. I couldn't help but often lapse elsewhere while the gang struggled to find an exit from the labyrinthine chambers, anterooms and passageways in this Egyptian hardly funhouse. Of course its walls are inscribed with ominous hieroglyphics Holden and daughter stop to decipher between harrowing escapes from indigenous, cat-gargoyle things. To facilitate my own survival, I provided comedy relief by channeling films like "Abbott and Costello Meet the Mummy" (1955).



The routine is the same. It's all about pushing the carved slabs in the right place, and, as Popeye incanted in "Popeye the Sailor Meets Ali Baba's Forty Thieves" (1937), "Open sez me." Pity is, these explorers have no Popeye to show the way.

Things only get unremittingly dreadful, and then they turn really bad. But get this bit of disgustingness ... perhaps the film's only inventive abhorrence. Guess how these half lizard/half felines have survived all these millennia down deep in the pyramid's catacombs. Yep, each new generation eats the bunch that spawned them. Frightening? Yes, but not as much as the thought that somewhere in this world there is someone who will decide this is their favorite film … of all time.

Worth noting, however, is the unholy cross pollination of horror genres represented in this abysmal mess. Once again, much of the infernal doings are brought to us courtesy of "found footage," the gimmick controversially popularized by "The Blair Witch Project" (1999). Why the inherent implication of this scare tactic is pessimistic might be apt subject for your doctoral thesis in film at Berkeley, just in case you still haven't picked a topic. Otherwise, one might be embarrassingly hard put to explain any kind of relationship with "The Pyramid."

Point of disclosure: Horror is far from my preferred genre. Still, I surmise that even folks who salivate in anticipation of each new burnt offering will be reticent to defend this film, a shameless money grab that adds a whole new wrinkle to the term pyramid scheme.

"The Pyramid," rated R, is a Twentieth Century Fox Film Corp. release directed by Grégory Levasseur and stars Ashley Hinshaw, Denis O'Hare and Christa Nicola. Running time: 89 minutes
 

 

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Puppets Teach Resilience at Lanesborough Elementary School

By Breanna SteeleiBerkshires Staff

The kids learned from puppets Ollie and a hermit crab.

LANESBOROUGH, Mass. — Vermont Family Network's Puppets in Education visited the elementary school recently to teach kids about being resilient.

Puppets in Education has been engaging with young students with interactive puppets for 45 years.  

The group partnered again with Bedard Brothers Chevrolet, which sponsored the visit. 

Classes filtered through the music class Thursday to learn about how to be resilient and kind, deal with change and anxiety, and more.

"This program is this beautiful blending of other programs we have, which is our anxiety program, our bullying prevention and friendship program, but is teaching children the power of yet and how to be able to feel empowered and strong when times are challenging and tough," said program manager Sarah Vogelsang-Card.

The kids got to engage with a "bounce back" song, move around, and listen to a hermit crab deal with the change of needing a new shell.

"A crab that is too small or too big for its shell, so trying to problem solve, having a plan A, B and C, because it's a really tough time," Vogelsang-Card said. "It's like moving, it's like divorce of parents, it's changing schools. It's things that children would be going through, even on a day to day basis, that are just things they need to be resilient, that they feel strong and they feel empowered to be able to make these choices for themselves."

The resiliency program is new and formatted little differently to each of the age groups.

"For the older kids. We age it up a bit, so we talk about harassment and bullying and even setting the scene with the beach is a little bit different kind of language, something that they feel like they can buy into," she said. "For the younger kids, it's a little bit more playful, and we don't touch about harassment. We just talk about making friends and being kind. So that's where we're learning as we're growing this program, is to find the different kinds of messaging that's appropriate for each development level."

This programming affirms themes that are already being discussed in the elementary school, said school psychologist Christy Viall. She thinks this is a fun way for the children to continue learning. 

"We have programs here at the school called community building, and that's really good. So they go through all of these strategies already," she said. "But having that repetition is really important, and finding it in a different way, like the puppets coming in and sharing it with them is a fun way that they can really connect to, I think, and it might, get in a little more deeply for them.

Vogelsang-Card said its another space for them to be safe and discuss what's going on in their life. Some children are afraid because maybe their parents are getting divorced, or they're being bullied, but with the puppets, they might open up and disclose what's bothering them because they feel safe, even in a larger crowd. 

"When we do sexual abuse awareness that program alone, over five years, we had 87 disclosures of abuse that were followed up and reported," she said. "And children feel safe with the puppets. It makes them feel valued, heard, and we hope that in our short time that we're together, that they at least leave knowing that they're not alone."

Bedard Brothers also gave the school five new puppets to use. Viall said the puppets are a great help for the students in her classroom, especially in the younger grades. 

"Every year, I've been giving the puppets to the students. And I also have a few of the puppets in my classroom, and the students use them in small groups to practice out the strategies with each other, which is really helpful," she said. "Sometimes the older students, like sixth graders, will put on a puppet show. They'll come up with a whole theme and a whole little situation, and they'll act it out with the strategies for the younger students. It's really cute, they've done it with kindergarteners, and the kids really like it."

Vogelsang-Card said there are 130 schools in Vermont that are on the waiting list for them to come in. Lanesborough Elementary has been the only Massachusetts school they have visited, thanks to Bedard Brothers. 

"These programs are so critical and life-changing for children in such a short amount of time, and we are the only program in the United States that does what we do, which is create this content in this enjoyable, fun, engaging way with oftentimes difficult subjects," she said. "Vermont is our home base, but we would love to be able to bring this to more schools, and we can't do this without the support of community, business funders or donors, and it really makes a difference for children."

The fourth-grade students were the first class to engage with the puppets and a lot of them really connected with the show.

"I learned to never give-up and if you have to move houses, be nervous, but it still helps," said William Larios.

"I learned to always add the word 'yet' at the end," said Sierra Kellogg, because even if she can't do something now, she will be able to at some point.

Samuel Casucci was struck by what one of the puppets talked about. "He said some people make fun of him if he dresses different, come from different place, brings home lunch, it doesn't matter," Samuel continued. "We're all kind of the same. We're all kind of different, like we have different hairstyles, different clothes. We're all the same because we're all human."

"I learned how to be more positive about myself and like, say, I can't do this yet, it's positive and helpful," said Liam Flaherty.

The students got to take home stickers at the end of the day with contact information of the organization.

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